Tejomaya Wellness

A Blog About Well-Being

Month: November 2014

Introversion: It Probably Doesn’t Mean What You Think it Means

aloneAfter a simplified version of the Myers-Briggs Type Indicator circulated on Facebook, I had a conversation with my mother about being the I in an INFP. She kind of balked at the notion that I might be an introvert. I was an outgoing kid. I talked to strangers. I performed concerts for anyone who would watch. I sought out the new kid at school and made friends. In my teen years, my confidence took a totally normal nosedive and most of this boldness was replaced with an almost painful shyness that continued until a few years ago when I entered my 30s, but I’m comfortable in my skin again, so I suppose it seems odd to her that I’d obtain such a result.

The fact is, what makes you either an introvert or an extrovert has little to do with whether or not you are a good leader or can deliver a great public speech. It’s really about where you draw your energy. If going out and socializing after a long day recharges you, you’re probably an extrovert. If you feel like you need some downtime after being at the office, then you are more than likely an introvert. I have to say, this distinction really helped ease some my fears about the career path I have chosen for myself. Though I prefer to think of what I’m doing as teaching, there is definitely a considerable amount of public speaking and leadership involved and it was comforting to know that this side of my personality wasn’t going to impede me, or really have any bearing on my success whatsoever.  It needn’t prevent you from having the future you desire for yourself, either.

I’ve always enjoyed solitude and work better when I have silence. I don’t make excellent small talk, but I will stay up all night helping someone iron out a wrinkle of the life variety. I need a minute or two before responding to a question and require time to shut off after being “on” for an extended period. Now I understand that as long as I come home and partake in an activity that grounds and centers me, I can go back to taking on the world tomorrow.

Below is a wonderful TED Talk by fellow introvert, Susan Cain. I simply cannot do her words justice. Tell me this woman isn’t a leader!

 

What do you think? Do you identify? If not personally, did it provide you with insight that helps you better understand the introvert in your life? Share your comments.

 

Wishing You Total Well-Being,

Jennifer

Give Thanks

journalLet me be the first to wish you a Happy Thanksgiving! This is literally a time to give thanks for the things that have added value to your life in the year that preceded it. As a kid you probably dreaded your inevitable turn at the dinner table to say what you were thankful for. Hopefully as an adult that has changed and you find things to be grateful for each day. Living in a state of gratitude is straight-up game changer if happiness is your goal. Let me share with you how I made it a priority and got myself out from some dark times.

It started with a Facebook challenge a friend accepted last November. She posted one thing in her feed every day that she was thankful for and just reading it made me feel happier. I let the month run its course though, and didn’t really think much of it until I came across a mostly blank “grateful journal” I’d started years ago when a celebrity I liked said she’d kept one. I’d written three things in it every day for about a week, and like most things in my twenties, I abandoned it for whatever the next trend was. The thing is, this was actually an invaluable practice and here it was, basically begging me to try it again. So I did.

I began my day with an entry by physically writing down three things I was grateful for. Sometimes it was a good night’s sleep, or a new flavor of tea. Others it was my goofball dog or a day off. I was not allowed to get out of bed until I wrote something down. Then at night I read those three things again and went to sleep thinking about them. This went on until the journal was full and it became habit. I’m telling you, it changed me.

Did I miss some days here and there? Yeah. It will happen to you, too. You’ll get sick or have the day from hell and forget to be grateful and that’s okay. I just picked up where I left off the next day and it kept the downward spiral from continuing. Little things didn’t totally take me out and big things became little things with continued, intentional practice.

Way more often than not, I can stop a negative thought in its track by finding something in the situation to be thankful for. If I can’t, I take that opportunity to write down three unrelated things I AM thankful for instead. It dramatically improves my mood even if it can’t improve the situation. If you take nothing else away from my posts, take this. It will make all the difference.

Do you need a dedicated journal to start out with? No, but it helps. Like my friend did, you can post it on social media or jot it down on a post-it. I like the journal format because you have a tangible record that you can go back and glance at if you need to remedy a pity party hangover.

I think it keeps you more accountable, too. Post-it’s are small enough to get lost and Facebook can distract you with shiny ads and pop-culture quizzes. Picking out something pretty can help make your new habit special, which will make you more likely to remember to do it. Also, take it with you if you’re like me and you carry a bag big enough. You never know when you might experience something to be profoundly grateful for and then you can write it down immediately.

Start by leaving me a comment with something you’re thankful for today. I’ll even volunteer to go first. Today, I am grateful for the opportunity to spend a paid day off with my awesome mom and fabulous sister and then to come home and complete some more coursework on a topic that fascinates me. Okay, your turn!

Wishing You Total Well-Being,

Jennifer

Happiness at Work? Treat Yo Self!

latteI’m a huge fan of Parks & Recreation. Leslie Knope might be a fictional character, but she’s a real life inspiration. If you haven’t watched it, get thee to Netflix and correct this post haste! If you have, follow me here. This is about to get helpful, I promise!

Today I want to talk to you about why Tom & Donna’s advice to Treat Yo Self is totally worth taking. What on Earth is Treat Yo Self? In Pawnee, Indiana it’s a day devoted to experiencing the finer things in life. For me, it’s a bi-weekly small indulgence as a way to say thank you to myself for making it and to provide me with at least a little satisfaction at a day job that’s less than ideal for me right now, but is still paying for my future business. Sometimes it’s froyo or a nail polish. Sometimes it’s a new set of classes to improve my mind and my offerings for future clients. For you, it could be practically anything that makes you happy.

You work hard for the money. Go ahead and do your best Donna Summer. I’ll wait. When you are entirely focused on making sure your bills and take-home balance, you are living in lack and that will break your beautiful heart if it hasn’t already. I don’t want that for you and I know you don’t want that for you. Believe it or not, one small shift in your thinking and actions can give you some peace and joy back. Here’s the part where you treat yourself and in doing so, treat yourself better.

I can hear some of you saying “Jennifer, that sounds lovely, but my reality is Tar-jay, not Tory Burch.” Honey, me too! I don’t want you living beyond your means. We get ourselves out of debt here, not into it. What I do want you to do is get in the habit of giving yourself something special to look forward to with each paycheck. If you can’t spend a day at a fancy spa, grab a nice-smelling clearance candle, draw yourself a hot bath, slather some deep conditioner on your hair and luxuriate. Buy a tea sampler and a veggie tray and host a potluck/book exchange if you’d love some new reading material. You might have to save for the latest gadget, but put a photo up as a reminder of what you’re working towards. Just keep your sights on what you’re about to gain and not what you’re currently going without. You’ll get there and you’ll lose that good feeling if you dwell on the have-nots. Capisce?

Let me be clear. If you own one pair of shoes and they have a hole in them, you need shoes. This is not that. Don’t cheat yourself by making a necessity into a gift, and definitely don’t beat yourself up if life happens and you need to sit it out this time. Just get back in the habit when you can. If your first check has to cover bills, but your second check has the fun money, do it once a month instead of twice. There’s always a way. If you’re stumped, I’m here to help!

What feels right this pay period might be to give to a worthy cause, and good on you! I will never tell you not to give. Doing so with gratitude will ultimately get you out of that overworked and underpaid holding pattern. Just keep in mind that can also donate your time or the coat that never quite fit right. It doesn’t always have to be cash. You are a worthy cause, too.

The main thing I want you to realize here is that you are far too important to neglect. Don’t let a crummy financial situation strip you of your happiness, okay? If you find bliss in the bottom of a hazelnut latte, it’s far better for your soul and your future for you to have one now and again.

I want to hear about how you’re going to reward your efforts! Reply in the comments, post photos and swap tips. Let’s be there to support each other! Happy Treating!

Wishing You Total Well-Being,

Jennifer

Pack ’em Up & Move ’em Out!

public-domain-images-free-stock-photos-shoes-walking-feet-grey-gravel--1000x666  If you are not happy where you are, then it’s time to start packing. Wait, did I just tell you it was okay to quit your job without a solid plan in place? No, and please don’t do that. Did I tell you to start making room for the changes you desire so they have a place to go once they have arrived? You bet your sweet patootie!

A 2013 Gallup Poll showed that 70% of the population is unsatisfied with their jobs. 70%, you guys! With a federal minimum wage at still $7.25 an hour that’s probably less shocking than it appears. People are struggling just to make ends meet. Who has time to seek actual satisfaction in their careers? You do! Yep, awesome and deserving you! I’m rooting for you big time and I have a kick-booty tip that will help.

Suze Orman, arguably the most recognizable financial planner in her field, gives invaluable advice to her new clients who don’t know where to begin. She tells them to eliminate clutter, financial and otherwise and open a savings account even if all you have is an opening deposit. She tells them to make room for what they want to have. Suze knows the Law of Attraction!

Now, lots of you have either seen or read The Secret, so you probably already are familiar with the concept. If you are not yet in on this life changing law, don’t fret. Simply put, it’s all about that… attitude. Did you think I was going to say something else? What your predominant thoughts are, your life will reflect. Think about abundance and you will be abundant. Think about not having enough and you will attract not having enough. Seems easy, right? It can be, but after we’ve made our intentions clear there is one big thing you can do to activate your faith and create positive expectancy in your life. Be prepared for it!

Let’s say you really want love. You’ve put a dating profile online and you’re asking friends to set you up, but it’s just not happening. What side of the bed are you sleeping on? Is there room in your bathroom for your mate’s toothbrush? Are your closets overflowing with clothes and shoes? If the love of your life fell into your arms tomorrow, would there truly be room for them or are you saying you’re ready for him or her and not putting action behind your intention?

The same thing works with that car or home you want. Is your current one clean and ready to show or sell if your ship came in tomorrow? Could you actually start packing a bag for that great vacation you’re dreaming about? Is your desk at that bummer of a 9-5 covered in personal effects when you’re actively circulating resumes and attending networking events? Making sure what you do matches what you say you want is powerful and it sends a signal to the Universe, or God through the Universe if that’s more respectful for you, that you mean business. Make room for your miracles!

 

Wishing You Total Well-Being,

 

Jennifer

 

P.S. If you’re interested in educating yourself on money matters look for the audio version of Suze’s book The Courage to be Rich and listen to it during your commute or while getting your house in order. She’s very easy to understand and can give you practical advice on how to create wealth from nothing. She is rooting for you, too.

Welcome, Readers!

BeFunky_null_3.jpgThank you so much for joining me on the Tejomaya Wellness blog.  As some of you already know, I am in the process of building the practice I have dreamed about having since high school! This is an incredibly exciting time for me and I’m devoting every free minute to mastering my craft so I can help people be happier.

In the meantime, I wanted to have a place to share my experiences and  musings and have conversations with you. From time to time I’d also like share some fun free content to help make your days brighter.  I hope you will check back often to see what I’m up to or to tell me about your challenges.  I’ll do my best to keep you in content that’s thoughtful, entertaining and updated regularly!

 

Wishing You Total Well-Being,

Jennifer

© 2018 Tejomaya Wellness

Theme by Anders NorenUp ↑