I’m going to be perfectly honest with you. I came close to not writing a Gratitude Review this month. With the loss of so many of my musical and film heroes, and then a close friend, January has kinda been a cold bitch. It’s times like these though, that gratitude can uplift us and carry us though sadness and periods of loss. For that reason, it felt critical that I find something that I could be happy about.
It also felt important to speak candidly. There will be times where you will look around at a series of heartbreaking occurrences and feel more like lifting your middle finger than raising your vibration. I think that’s totally okay when times get really hard as long as you make yourself a promise not to stay there. That said, as I looked back over the month almost gone, I did have some moments I do feel truly grateful for, and I’m going to share them with you.
I woke up to the news of David Bowie’s passing on Monday morning. His music was such a huge part of my twenties, when I was just starting to figure out who I was. There’s a beautiful hand painted version of his Aladdin Sane cover on the wall above the booth at the bar where I spent most of that decade of my life. Even when I wasn’t actively listening to him, it felt like he was that friend that was always there. When I got home later that night, I played everything of his that I own and sat on my sofa and sobbed for a while. When I was done crying, I lit a candle and sat down on the floor in front of my coffee table with all of my colored Sharpies. I took out my Leonie Dawson 2016 workbooks with inspiration flowing through my veins and I wrote, colored and drew like a madwoman for a few hours. It felt appropriate and cleansing, especially since it had been quite a while since I had a rush of creativity like that. It’s an odd thing to say, but the joy was so pure I’m tearing up now just typing about it. I’m incredibly grateful for it.
Sometimes when it’s hard to find something to feel thankful for, it helps to go back to basics. It was really cold here last Sunday. I decided to go out for a little while to brave some of the January mega-sales, so I was in and out in the cold for a good chunk of the day. When I got home with my clearance finds, I was bone cold. I turned up the heat a few degrees and snuggled in with the dog and every blanket I had in the apartment and just felt truly grateful to have a warm, safe place to call home. Sometimes we need those reminders of the things we typically take for granted. Also, I’m always insanely grateful for Harrison. I mean, come on! Just look at that face! Okay, I’ll stop now.
I finally and really heard myself saying something toward the end of last year that I’ve recently started repenting for. I’ve had a nasty habit of holding out on myself by saying things like “I’ll get that haircut when my face is a little thinner” or “I really love that sweater, but I should wait until I’m down a couple of sizes”. What was that all about?!?! That kind of punishing self-talk totally sucks! Well, guess what? I bought that damn sweater (actually, I bought two!) and I got that damn haircut and I’m not withholding from myself anymore! I’m not perfect, but I do deserve to be happy! I’m super grateful for the lesson and even more grateful for the opportunities to correct myself. If we all waited until we were perfect to be happy, we’d spend our whole lives waiting to really live. (That photo above is the next little number I have my eye on!)
I want to know what you were grateful for this month! Leave me a comment below with the thing that made your heart go zing! If it was a rough one for you too, there’s some love and light from me coming your way. Let’s look forward to February together, Darling Heart.
Wishing You Total Well-Being,